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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28701969">the end of love.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandstorms/pseuds/sandstorms'>sandstorms</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, I'm just dramatic, Kinda, M/M, Post-Break Up, Yeonjun is back, huening kai is everything i will never be, its not angst guys, there's a lost bottle of water here somewhere</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:56:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,671</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28701969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandstorms/pseuds/sandstorms</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For the sake of Beomgyu's efforts, Kai will pretend he doesn't know who his "blind date" is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the end of love.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i wrote this yesterday, gave it a glance over today and now i'm pretending this makes any sense.</p><p>title from Florence + The Machine</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kai is unfashionable late when he comes through the restaurant door. </p><p>The worst part is that it's not even intended. When he left home, Kai made sure to be leaving one hour earlier, prepared to wait if it was necessary. He didn't like tardiness. But the traffic, the lack of empty spaces in the parking lot, and all it came in between seemed to disagree with his little plan, and so, when Kai finally comes to table 23, he's exactly forty-five minutes late. </p><p>The table is empty, and for a moment, Kai permits himself to breathe. Relief and disappointment fighting for the rights over his emotions. It lasts very briefly though because when Kai is ready to ask for the bill and leave as quickly as possible, he notices the too familiar leather jacket hanging from the chair opposite to him. </p><p>He stares at it, fingers tight around his chair's arms. As if on cue, there's suddenly a weight at the back of Kai's neck. Warm palms, cold rings, long fingers.</p><p>"Yeonjun hyung," It comes out. It's meant to be a greeting, he's supposed to nod in knowledge to the other's presence, to look at him. Kai's eyes don't leave the jacket.</p><p>"Hueningie," Fond, awfully tender, as if he can't notice Kai’s stiff muscles under his fingers. As if nothing changed at all. "It's good to see you again."</p><p>He just realizes Yeonjun is not touching him anymore when the other is facing him. The back of his neck burns, a buzzing under his skin that threatens to spread through his body like wildfire. He feels like a trail of powder keg just waiting for a stray fire: the ingredients of a disaster.</p><p>Yeonjun changed the years he had been abroad. </p><p>The last time they saw each other, his hair was cotton candy pink, his eyes were brighter with the eagerness of youth Kai knew could be seen reflected on his own eyes. The Yeonjun sitting in front of him has jet black hair, so long that it's nearly pushing past his eyes. Eyes that no longer seem like they could light up the entire world, eyes that look exactly that, eyes. </p><p>But well, the last part might be just Kai, who remembers a Yeonjun that is not Yeonjun at all.</p><p>"Hi." </p><p>Kai looks at him. "Hi."</p><p>"I was going to call you, but Beomgyu insisted on a surprise," Yeonjun rolls his eyes, an attempt. He's biting his lips, and not looking Kai in the eyes. "You know how he is."</p><p>Beomgyu insisted on a surprise because he thought Kai wouldn't come if he told the truth, and Yeonjun agreed because he feared the same. </p><p>"You should've called me, hyung." He says, finally. It comes out surprisingly easy, and Kai belatedly realizes he means it. He missed Yeonjun. "I knew it was you since you told Soobin hyung."</p><p>It's funny how some things you can't forget or unlearn doesn't matter how hard you try. He has Yeonjun's habits imprinted at the back of his mind; <em> he bites his lips when he is nervous, scratches the back of his neck when embarrassed, and looks for eye contact when he's happy. </em></p><p>Kai decides he's wrong about Yeonjun's eyes. They're still bright, like candle's light, quiet and dangerous depending on where they fall. </p><p>"He still tells you everything, doesn't he?" </p><p>Kai smiles, much smaller than his usual ones. "As he should."</p><p>There's a tension on Kai's shoulder that used to be nonexistent back when they were younger. It's a tension that tells Kai to watch out for the tips of Yeonjun's fingers (they had always been so cold, Kai used to warm them up between his hands), for the way Yeonjun sometimes laughs so hard his eyes disappear into thin lines, to look out for his own heart, that if could, would escape his ribcage and fall right into Yeonjun's hands.</p><p>"So, how was Russia?"<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Three hours later, after an entire bottle of wine split between the two of them, Kai finds himself being supported by Yeonjun on the way to his car. He has always been a lightweight. </p><p>"Where are your keys, Hueningie?" Yeonjun asks, the arm he has around Kai's waist firming as Kai stumbles in a crack on the pavement.</p><p>"Coat." He mumbles, because his tongue is heavy and he doesn't feel like pronouncing long sentences. </p><p>"I'll drive you home, ok? But before that, we're going to get you some water." Yeonjun smells nice, some strong cologne that makes Kai want to bury his face on his neck. He doesn't, of course. But after so long, it's nice to have the illusion that he's allowed to.</p><p>"Uh-huh."</p><p>They don't talk much after that, Yeonjun helps Kai climb in the car, fastening the belt around him and when he notices Kai nearly dozing off, kisses his forehead. Where Yeonjun's lips touched the skin prickles and Kai needs to resist the urge to rub the spot. </p><p>Yeonjun drives with a responsibility that comes with age, eyes facing the road, hands loose around the steering wheel but never leaving it. <em> You're an adult now, aren't you, Yeonjun-ssi? </em> He thinks, terribly affectionate.</p><p>Here's a thing about love; if you want to, you'll never fall out of it. </p><p>Yeonjun changed, inside and out, and so did Kai. But Kai's love hadn't. Not a bit. It's still guarded between his ribs, trapped in the words he filters and modifies before leaving his lips, folded under his sleeves. Yeonjun still holds power over him like no one else, and Kai can see in his eyes, Yeonjun revels in it like he always did. </p><p>He just notices the car stopped when Yeonjun turns to look at him. Kai rushes in and closes his eyes. After an unnecessary long pause, the car door opens, slamming shut right after.</p><p>Kai keeps his eyes closed, trying to even his breathing.  </p><p>He wonders if this, what is under his eyelids, can be truly defined as darkness. He sees flashes of red, yellow and blue, and then watches as little by little they're engulfed by something denser than colors. He wonders if this is all just part of his drunken stupor. </p><p>Kai doesn't stay awake long enough to know when Yeonjun comes back.</p><p> </p><p>He wakes up by himself, not sure what prompted him out of sleep. Rubbing his eyes, he turns to Yeonjun. </p><p>"Where are we going?" His mouth tastes bitter, but he finds his mind clearer than the last time he had his eyes open.</p><p>"Home," Yeonjun answers, and then, as if startled by his own words, he corrects, "Your house. I meant I'm taking you home."</p><p>Kai giggles, a yawn meeting it halfway and turning it into a disgruntled noise. He watches his own reflection in the rearview mirror, his eyes look a bit unfocused, but overall he doesn't look so messy. </p><p>"It's ok, hyung. I got it the first time." He smiles, teeth showing.</p><p>Yeonjun smiles too, it doesn't quite reach his eyes. </p><p>It doesn't take long for them to stop in front of his apartment. Kai sighs. He hadn't noticed before, but Yeonjun is wearing Oxford shoes, well polished and shining at any spec of light that dawns on them. <em> Oh. Are you trying to impress me, Yeonjunie? </em></p><p>"You look great, hyung." He tries, and like magic, Yeonjun's face lights up. He leans towards Kai, the gloominess of the car partially hiding his face between the shadows. </p><p>"I'm sorry." Kai waited for this moment for so long, but the suddenness of Yeonjun's actions take him by surprise and he meets the words with something akin to indifference but also far from it. </p><p>There's a stretch in the space, Kai is seventeen again and Yeonjun is on the other side of the world. It's like pulling the bandaid off a fresh cut, it stings and you only really know how deep it goes when you're facing it.</p><p>"Ah," Kai can't see Yeonjun's eyes like this, and he doesn't know whether this is for the better or for the worse. "What are you sorry about, hyung? Letting me know that you left through Soobin hyung? Ignoring me for four years and then coming back as nothing happened? Breaking your promises and then me along the way?"</p><p>It all comes out in one breath, thoughts Kai hadn't allowed to ever fully take a form suddenly ripping through the seams. </p><p>"There's a lot of things to be sorry for. Don't take them so lightly." He finishes, voice soft.</p><p>Before, when Kai was too scared of what he was supposed to be and what he'd never become, of what he desired and what he had to grit his teeth through, Yeonjun stood in a place where Kai was sure would never change. It felt like losing a part of himself, realizing he was wrong.</p><p>"I couldn't do it." Yeonjun's voice sounds slightly unstable, breaking at the edges, but he doesn't stop. "If I had to look at you, say that I was leaving, that it'd take four years for me to come back… I wouldn't go." </p><p>"At first I tried to convince myself it was for your own good, but it never really worked." Another car passes by them, the headlights illuminating the space around them, “I’m sorry for being selfish.” </p><p>“There you go, hyung.” Kai whispers. He can feel Yeonjun’s breathing hitting his cheeks, warm. “Now I know what I have to forgive you for, right?”</p><p>There’s still a path to build, they will have to relearn their way around each other, there are things about them that are only part of their childhood and wouldn’t do good to any of them to try and relocate it back into the present, but it feels nice, to finally be able to let go. It does feel nice, to have Yeonjun back. </p><p>“Do you want to come up? You can sleep with me if you know how to behave.”</p><p>Yeonjun smiles. “I always behave and I'm glad you asked because I definitely lost the last bus.”</p>
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